Everybody’s (not-so) favorite ex-con/current con artist, Jim Bakker, loves to have fellow filberts on his Survivalist Infomercial (aka “The Jim Bakker Show“). This week, one of the guests was a Khristian (as opposed to “Christian”) bible-beater named Frank Amedia.
For those of you fortunate enough not to have run across Mr. Ameia, he’s a self-anointed “apostle” who claims to have single-handedly stopped waves from the 2011 tsunami in Japan from hitting a Hawaiian island. (King Canute is spinning in his grave.)
I stood at the edge of my bed and I said, ‘In the name of Jesus, I declare that tsunami to stop now.’ And I specifically said, ‘I declare those waters to recede.’
He’s also a self-proclaimed
profit….er, “prophet.” and joined other profits (Damn! Did it again.) prophets, to create a “POTUS Shield.” After all, Trump was (according to these nut jobs) “God’s Guy,” annointed by Big Daddy hisownself. (I wonder what grade of crude oil, B.D. used?)
Well, I gotta tell ya, this bit of butt bussing impressed Trump (aka Herr Rump) sooo much that he made Frank and some of the gang, Official Trump “Christian policy liaisons.”
Anyway, as I said earlier, Frank and fellow flibert, Jim, got to gether this week so that Frank could regale us with his tales of Trump prophecies that slipped under his tinfoil toupee.
Among the tales was one of Big D. (Exon?) oiling up Herr Rump with a “Breaker Anointment,” so that Rump could break up things. You know, like the Republican and Democratic parties, as well as the news media. (Other than the Bullshit Mtn variety, of course.)
So, watch out, Kim Jong-un, YHWH’s “Breaker-in-Chief” is on the loose and looking at you!
So, you know, North Korea, you’d better be on your toes because you’re up against a breaker anointing of God. This isn’t about politics, this isn’t government as usual, this isn’t even militaristic, God has raised up…a breaker anointing. Anything that God opposes him against, he breaks up. He broke up the Republican Party…he broke up the Democratic Party, he broke up the news media. Everything that comes against him, he has a hammer against. So, I’m telling you, North Korea, you’d better stand down because you’re up against the breaker anointing of God.
Frank also had a few things to say about Herr Rumps fave-o-rite night-time activity: tweeting. According to Frank the twit’s tweets are part of the “gift of wisdom” that Elohim (Another of the Big Guy’s many aliases.) gave the Trumpster. Besides, because of Herr Rump’s “God-given gift of discernment,” being Prexy is a boring job and our pear-less leader needs distraction.
I believe he receives downloads that now he’s beginning to understand come from God.
(I have to wonder if Frank isn’t getting the “guy in the sky” and Putin confused.)
Stay tuned! (Or not.)
h/t: Right Wing News
Featured Image Credit: YouTube screen grab
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
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