Friends, are you suffering from NOT having illusions of grandeur when it comes to thinking about our “Greatest President’ in the history of ‘Murica? If so, you must be suffering from “Trump Derangement Syndrome!” Fear not! Gordon Klingenschmitt (or, as I call him, “Gordo-head”) has the cure for this dreaded malady.
You may remember Klingenschmitt from the time he was kicked out of the military for refusing to obey orders. He was serving in the navy as a chaplain and claims that he was booted out for praying in Jesus name. Like a lot of things this man claims, that’s a lie. He was court-martialed for wearing military garb at a political event, in violation of military regulations. There were other charges as well, but not one of them had anything to do with using J.C.’s name in a prayer.
Never one to let facts get in the way, he’s built a post-military career on being persecuted by military heathens. In fact, his website is entitled “Pray in Jesus Name” He also hosts a TV program “PIJN”. Both espouse his wing-nut religious views.
In 2014, he was elected to represent Colorado’s 15th District.
In July 2015, Klingenschmitt responded to the Boy Scouts of America lifting their ban on gay scoutmasters by saying that this would lead to an increase in child molestation in the organization. (I thought the Catholic Church already had that covered.)
In 2016, he decided to run for State Senator in District 12. He didn’t make it past the primary.
No worries, he went back to his day job of rousing the rabble.
Since then he’s “enlightened” us with a number of dispatches from Planet Nibiru. For instance:
- Clinton Is Possessed By A ‘Demonic Spirit Of Hatred’ For Christians
- Demonic Spirits At ABC Are ‘Bringing Sodomy’ Upon America
- Demonic Spirits Are Using ‘Beauty And The Beast’ To Recruit Children Into Homosexuality
- The Democratic Party Requires Its Members To Be Demon-Possessed And ‘Serve The Devil’
- Trump’s Demon-Possessed Critics ‘Are Bringing About The End Of The World’
And, of course,
As you might have noticed, Gordo-head has a thing about demons. Everybody he doesn’t like or doesn’t agree with him, seems to have been possessed by demonic spirits.
At least, that’s the way he sees it!
That category also includes those suffering from “Trump Derangement Syndrome,” but don’t even know it. That may even include YOU!
Symptoms may include:
- Being embarrassed by Trump’s petty schoolyard bullying;
- Believing that his “alternate facts” are lies;
- Thinking there’s something wrong with grabbing women’s private parts because you can;
- Being upset by his cozying up to murderous dictators while doing everything he can to alienate allies we’ve had for decades;
- Rejecting the idea that racial bigots are “fine people.”
- Thinking that kidnapping children because their parents have the audacity to legally seek asylum is wrong;
- Being outraged about his conspiring with an enemy of this country in order to be “elected;”
- Believing that laws do apply to Trump, even if he’s the President. (The divine right of kings went out with the Magna Carta.)
There’s a hell of a lot more, but you get the idea.
Anyway, as I stated earlier, Klingenschmitt has the cure: Make an appointment with an exorcist!
I’m sure those who suffer from Trump Derangement Syndrome look at the president and say, ‘He must be demonized because he makes me feel so anxious inside,. But, again, these are people who are deranged, so are they properly discerning the evil spirit inside of President Trump? No. Because of their derangement, because of the demons inside them, they project their anxiety on to someone else who might be causing their anxiety. But it’s not inside the president—if anything, he might be influenced by the spirit of God sometimes—the demon is inside of those who welcome this fear and this anxiety.
So if God didn’t give you a spirit of fear and anxiety and derangement, but you’re feeling this spirit of fear and anxiety and derangement inside of you, is that coming from God?” No, it’s coming from the devil and the demonic spirit of fear inside of these people who have Trump Derangement Syndrome may require an exorcism.
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
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