Rick Wiles has had a wild week.
It was just a couple of days ago [7/2/17] that I covered his brain(?)storm of an idea that Trump (aka “Hair Fuhrer,” aka “Rump.”) should grant Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio a pardon for his conviction for Criminal Contempt and hire him to run the Department of Homeland Security. (Just what ‘Murica needs, one of the biggest racial bigots behind a badge since Bull Conner, in charge of Immigration.)
As evidence, he cited John McCain’s stitches above his eye, George Bush Sr. choking on a pretzel, (Little) Dick Cheney’s busted lip, Harry Reid’s eye injury and Colin Powell’s broken arm. (Or was it a broken leg?)
What I do recall, through the years, is how many national politicians have had injuries that, to me, were suspicious. Maybe all of these are coincidences, or maybe they’re not. Maybe there is a shadow government that roughs up the politicians when they don’t do all the dirty, evil things that they want done.
Among other “Deep State” dirty deeds: they sent the Capitol Police Containment and Emergency Response Team to the wrong location during the attack on a GOP congressional baseball practice.
Wiles claimed this was intentionally done to “give the gunman more time” to kill as many Congressmen as possible.
Then Ricky went and saved ‘Murica. (Whatta guy!)
It was laborious endeavor, but somebody had to do it! (It took him a whole five minutes!)
Being a “Khristian” (as opposed to “Christian”)
prophet…profit, he knew exactly what to do. Simply bind the demonic spirits that are bent on destroying Hair Fuhrer and starting a civil war.
I’ll let the Rickster explain. (As only he, Alex Jones, Jim Bakker and a few others can.)
These are demonic spirits attempting to start a civil war in this country. If they think that they are going to succeed in removing the president of the United States and this country is not going to erupt into a civil war, these people are totally deluded and full of pompous pride. They will destroy the country and they cannot be allowed to do it.
They are acting under the spirit of Lucifer and therefore we, the church, have authority … [to] bind these devils and let’s loose angels to protect the president.
We bind every demonic, evil, wicked, satanic spiri. We bind all of those demonic spirits that are operating in the White House, in the Congress, in the intelligence agencies, in the Pentagon, anywhere in this nation to destabilize the president of the United States and to cause our government to collapse. We bind those evil spirits and we render them paralyzed.
Now, why didn’t I think of that?…(Oh yeah, because “demonic spirits” are fig newtons of an addlepated mind.)
But WAIT! There’s more. Our Rickster’s not just a “3-trick jackass!” (He’s at least a “4.”)
Not content with saving the nation, (or at least his version of it) Ricky decided to tackle a really BIGLY YUUGE problem: cleaning up the mess that masquerades as the “White House.” But not to worry, he knows exactly what to do. He’s gonna “PRAY IT AWAY!”
At this point, a bit of context is in odor…er order.
You see the WH disfunction isn’t caused by leaks or tweets or incompetence. Nosiree! It’s because there’s fighting between factions. For instance, there’s “The Good Guys.” That would be Bannon and
Flynn and their buds. And, on the other side, you’ve got “The Bad Guys.” You know, pointy-headed intelligence people, diplomats, Democrat moles, and most especially, National Security Advisor, H.R. McMaster.
It seems that McMaster has a nasty habit of firing some “Good Guys” for super-silly reasons like bias, bigotry or downright incompetence.
Well, Ricky’s had it!
I’m fed up with putting up with this stuff. From now on we go on the offensive in the spirit and we become warriors against this evil force and we call upon the name of the God of this universe and we ask Him to come and fight for us and defeat these wicked people.
Not only that, but the “Holy Spirit” (aka “Sacred Spook”) told him personally that McMaster had to go because he’s an evil globalist. trying to destroy our gearless leader.
Father, we ask that you remove Gen. McMaster from the White House as director of national security. Let this be done quickly as a show of your force, as a show of your intervention in the affairs of this country
Personal note to the Rickster: You might want to change your supplier for your tinfoil toupees, your current ones seem to leak a lot.
“He’s done,” Wiles said. “I believe that with all my heart and mind.”
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
- Islamic & Christian Fundies: Two Coins of the Same Side - November 26, 2019
- Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Impeachment - November 14, 2019
- Louie Gohmert Goes All ‘Civil War’ Over Impeachment - November 1, 2019
- Walk On Holy Water In Your Jesus Shoes For Just 14,000 Shekels! - October 15, 2019
- This Week in God (As worshiped by Bronze Age troglodytes!) - October 6, 2019
- Non-Khristians Not Welcome In New State To Be Called ‘Liberty!’ - September 14, 2019
- Sarah ‘Caribou Barbie’ Palin Dumped By Hubby? - September 10, 2019
- The Second Amendment Ain’t What It Used To Be! (Part 1) - September 5, 2019
- Troglodyte: Khristians Need Militias For The Coming Civil War - September 4, 2019
- Sex, Drugs and Bank Fraud = Right Wing ‘Family Values? - August 31, 2019