CALLING ALL KHRISTIAN* TROGLODYTES!
(*As opposed to “Christian,” which y’all ain’t)
A grievous situation has risen that can only be solved by prayers. Lots and lots and lots of prayers.
(Come to think of it, thoughts might help a little bit. And money. Money always helps. Send us lots and lots of money!)
On the solstice, that most pagan of days when the sun goes round the earth on its most northernly path, a whole passel of witches gathered to place spells on Big Daddy’s anointed savior of ‘Murica, the “Billionare Bubba” hisownself: Donald J (for Jesus?) Trump. (By the bye, that’s REPUBLICAN Jesus, don’tcha know! HALLELUJA!)
As y’all true believers know, this ain’t the first onslaught of witchery against “the chosen one!” Every Bubba’s fave-o-rite uncle, Pat Robertson, raised a ruckus about it clean back in February. Kellyanne ain’t even had time to get on her knees, afore they started witchifying at our macho messiah.
According to some expert fellers, like Family Research Council’s, Robert Maginnis, witches “are advising high-ranking government officials in Washington, D.C.” and “there’s demonic forces in that city.” (Of course, that was afore “The Golden One’s” coronation. I reckon he exorcized them “ladies” right outta there during that “Circle of the Mystic Orb” seance in Saudi Arabia.)A pair of Roman Catholic female eunuchs even outed Katy Perry as a witch. Some unbelievers called this “nunsense,” but if y’all want proof, just look at all the adolescent males she’s cast a spell on.
But enough back then. Lets get back to our current crises afore y’all’s attention span self-destructs.
Once again: Summer Solstice, witches, nefarious spells, his Supreme Blondness. Got it? Ok!
According to Spokeswitch, Michel M. Hughes, (I ‘spects, that oughta be “Spokeswarlock,” but they’s heathens, so who gives a ding dang doodle.)
My thought from the beginning was that Trump’s presidency was surreal and abnormal; therefore, there was a need to counter him and resist his administration beyond the normal channels like public protests, petitions, emails and calls to representatives.One very powerful element of the spell is its ability to allow participants to take back their power from the out-of-control administration.
Whether or not this call for spells pans out and people act on it, we feel compelled, as the body of Christ and intercessors, to come against this evil with immediate and powerful prayer.
We need your help! We need your prayers! We need your money!
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
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