Have you tried a L.O.R.D.? [Like Our Real Deity] (Only better, because it actually answers you.)
Too Much Information
We’re living in the “Information Age!” And, unfortunately for some, that raises some problems. I mean, what are poor wing-nut Khristians gonna do when those information sources like Echo and Alexa spew out facts that don’t agree with their fantasies?
This sort of situation has happened before.
As you’ll recall, a talking snake, convinced Adam’s rib to partake of a non-Big Daddy approved, pre-Siri, “Knowledge of Good and Evil,” Apple thingy, back in the Garden.
Look how that turned out! Instead of lazing around naked in a tropical garden, we’re stuck with pulling the weeds while getting bitten by the bugs.
Deja Vu All Over Again
And now, we have almost the same situation! This time, we have secular “robots” like Siri, Echo and Alexa, dishing out facts that are not in compliance with the illusions of “True Believers.”
For instance, ask a simple question, like “How old is the earth?” Not one of those computerized savants will admit that it’s only 6,000 years old.
Or, on a more technical note, you can ask them “What happened to the dragons mentioned in Malachi 1:3 and 15 other bible verses?” Every single one of them will tell you that dragons never existed.
Who you gonna believe? Some fancy Dan collections of wires and circuit boards or a divine group of Bronze Age writers. (Even if they weren’t exactly white.)
Betty Bowers To The Rescue
Well, now, you no longer have to choose! “America’s Best Christian,” Betty Bowers, has the solution. Best of all, it’s just in time for the
Check out her infomercial, it’s funnier than a reshaped Tootsie Roll in a Baptist punch bowl. (Especially if you’re not Baptist!)
Let a L.O.R.D. be your guide through the wicked wilderness of secularity. It’s even better than Big Daddy in that it will actually speak to you. (Tinfoil toupee not required!)
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
- Biden: ‘Weak’ Trump has fomented violence in US cities - August 31, 2020
- Trump Praises Turkish President Erdoğan In Front Of Freed Hostage Andrew Brunson During RNC Segment - August 26, 2020
- Nancy Pelosi Calls COVID-19 ‘Trump Virus’ – Instead Of President’s Favored ‘Chinese Virus’ - July 25, 2020
- Micheal Cohen Lawyers File Petition For His Release From Prison, Claiming Retaliation For Book About Trump - July 22, 2020
- Trump Accuses Biden Of Trying To ‘Abolish Suburbs’ In Odd Rose Garden Press Conference - July 17, 2020
- Trump Fires Campaign Manager Brad Parscale, Replaces Him With Bill Stepien Amid Poor Polling - July 16, 2020
- Trump move to free ally Stone is ‘historic corruption’: Republican senator - July 11, 2020
- Trump Far Right Rally Gets pranked by Borat Creator - June 30, 2020
- Trump faces outrage after report reveals Russia offered Afghan militants ‘rewards to kill Americans’ - June 27, 2020
- A top Pennsylvania Republican said coronavirus only threatens children in poor health. That’s not true. - May 14, 2020