As Managing Editor and writer for RDTdaily, I spend a lot of time “story mining,” looking for kooky conspiracy theories and downright kooks. And, speaking of the latter, meet self-proclaimed “prophetess” Kat Kerr!
A bit of background: Kat’s claim to fame (limited though that may be) is that god takes her up to heaven from time to time. Big Daddy not only gives her tours, but she also gets to know several residents, ranging from the scribe angels that help her write her books to partying with J.C. himself. (More on that in a bit.)
Kate, of course, is delighted to share those experiences (for a price). As she put it in a blurb for one of her books,
Prepare to not only read about her journeys, but through the illustrations, you will ‘view’ places which actually exist in Heaven. Besides the ‘Throne Room’, you will see the ‘Portal’ where those living in the celestial city go to view their families on earth. You will also visit the ‘Rush’, Heaven’s biggest roller coaster and then go to the nurseries and meet ‘Rahmee’, one of the many angels who care for the millions of aborted and miscarried babies – Heaven has ALL of them.
Kat’s heavenly holidays are also occasions when the Big Guy lets her in on upcoming events. For instance, did you know that, not only will Trump be reelected, Pence will follow him with two terms and Pence’s Veep will hold down the next eight years.
Of course, god also told Pat Robertson that Willie Romney would be an eight-year president.
So, it’s possible B.D.’s future vision might need corrective lenses.
In between heavenly hops, she also took the time to use her scepter to “take authority” over Hurricane Irma and tell it to quit that nonsense. Unfortunately, the hurricane wouldn’t listen.
When asked about it, she said that god had decided Florida’s oranges needed the rain.
Back’s been grounded. Now, back to heaven.
According to Kat, J.C. lives in a mansion. She says that since he died for us, he deserves it.
He has a magnificent mansion that’s in the biggest field of flowers that all sing. They sing all the time. And I mean they have faces and they sing and they’re beautiful.
However, he doesn’t just sit around the mansion.
Hell…I mean heaven no! He parties hardy!
He throws a party every time a new soul crosses the rainbow bridge. (Oops, wrong mythology.) I meant to say “enters heaven.” And, since “Christians die all the time, it’s party time all the time.
It’s a big place where there’s tables labeled with all kinds of desserts… Every dessert you’d ever want because Jesus likes sweets. And there’s dancing there all of the time. And He plans special parties when someone comes home. He will actually send someone in His Golden Chariot with an invitation to that individual which is given by one of His angels — his personal angels — and they will read off of this beautiful scroll that they are going to be the guest to honor. The honored guest at a party thrown by Jesus Christ
Seems J.C. has a set of sweet teeth. And, since there’s no allergies, lactose intolerance or calories in heaven it’s all good. In fact, despite all his gorging, J.C. is still a handsome 6 footer.
And He was very handsome. I noticed that he wasn’t very comely, but that was when He was being beaten and hung on the cross. You know, that no man would want to look up on Him. But normally, He was very strong. He picked up trees.
So, not to worry. Live a good life and you’ll spend eternity at a children’s birthday party.
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
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