A “Khristian” (as opposed to “Christian”) bible-thumper claims there’s a “nearly 30 feet tall” demon taking up residence in the senate chamber! And, evidently (That’s probably not the right word to use.) he’s got a hate on for Brett Kavanaugh.
Demons and Witches and Spooks, Oh My!
What is it with Khristian’s witches, demons and such? I thought those days ended sometime after the Salem Witch Trials.
Demon and witch sightings have multiplied in the last two years. In fact, I started noticing the upsurge about the time Trump moved into the WHITE House. (Strictly a coincidence?)
Some low-light luminaries such as Pat Robertson have been claiming Witches are cursing Trump. The reason why is simple, Hillary is pissed she got beaten and she “is the head of witchcraft in the world.” Oh, and for some reason, they think Katy Perry is a witch as well.
As for demons, well, according to Robertson, they’ve been kind of busy causing MS. (The upside of that is that MS is easily curable. Just cast out the demon.)
Then there’s the “King of the Demon Seers,” Gordon Klingenschmitt.
Either there weren’t enough MS candidates to go around or a bunch of the demons got bored, because Gordo has found them everywhere.
- Clinton Is Possessed By A ‘Demonic Spirit Of Hatred’ For Christians
- Demonic Spirits At ABC Are ‘Bringing Sodomy’ Upon America
- Demonic Spirits Are Using ‘Beauty And The Beast’ To Recruit Children Into Homosexuality
- The Democratic Party Requires Its Members To Be Demonically-Possessed And ‘Serve The Devil’
- Trump’s Demonically-Possessed Critics ‘Are Bringing About The End Of The World’
And, of course,
The Demon and Brett Kavanaugh
However, somehow, someway, I guess he missed a 30 foot tall demon lurking around the senate. This one was sighted by another member of the Tinfoil Toupee set. An “apostle” called Jonathan Stidham tracked this one down.
Well, he didn’t exactly track the demon down, he saw him in a “vision.” (A mindcast from Planet Nibiru?)
I’ll let him explain as he did to Charisma News commentator, Jennifer LeClaire.
On Sept. 24, 2018, while praying about this hot-button political issue, I had an open vision. In the vision, I saw a horse with the letter “K” shaved in its hair cross the finish line. I saw a Supreme Court justice robe and gavel of supreme judiciary authority being handed to Kavanaugh. The Lord told me that Judge Brett Kavanaugh lives pure and fears Him.
It is the will of the Lord for Brett Kavanaugh to judge this land, and the opposition is fierce. In the vision, I saw a demonic spirit nearly 30 feet tall standing in the Senate chambers. I asked the Lord, “‘What am I seeing? The Lord replied ‘This is the spirit that is wrestling against Judge Kavanaugh’s purpose and destiny.’
Oh, the horror!
The ‘Action Plan’
All is not lost! LeClaire has come up with a three-pronged attack to battle this dastardly emissary of evil:
- Target the spirit of assassination that brings accusation and slander that is raging against leaders in the United States. This spirit is at large even within the confounds of the church. Bind it in the name of Jesus.
- Pray that the spirit of Jezebel be bound and the tongues of those being used would be shut.
- Pray for unity and the will of the Lord above all else would prevail.
So, not to worry!
The Khristians have been alerted, and they have a plan to take the demon down with thoughts and prayers.
(And, we all know how well those work.)
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
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- ‘Duck Dynasty’ Patriarch’: Democrats Are Evil Depraved God-Haters - November 5, 2018
- QAnon Wingnut: Bombing Democrats ‘A White Hat Operation’ - October 30, 2018
- Wingnut: if Democrats Win, They’ll Slaughter Thousands of Christians - October 26, 2018
- Robertson, Wiles, Soros, The Migrant Caravan And A Bomb - October 23, 2018
- Neanderthrals Didn’t Go Extinct! They’re Republican Politicians! - October 20, 2018
- Flat Earthers: ‘We’ve Never Been In Space! - October 17, 2018
- Siri Too Sinful? Alexa Too Atheist? Try L.O.R.D. For The ‘Right’ Answers! - October 12, 2018
- Khristian ‘Prophetess’: Cows In Heaven Drive Tractors - October 7, 2018