While doing some story mining to find something to rant about, I came across an article about a “Prosperity Gospel” bible-thumper claiming that “God” told him he had to have a brand new jet because he had to land and refuel too often in his old one.
Thing was, Big Daddy wasn’t about to buy it for him, (A bit of a cash liquidity problem, no doubt.) Rather, he should fleece his flock for the Benjamins.
First off, for those of you not familiar with “Prosperity Gospel,” this is a pretty accurate description:
Prosperity Gospel, is a religious belief among some Christians, who hold that financial blessing and physical well-being are always the will of God for them, and that faith, positive speech, and donations to religious causes will increase one’s material wealth.
As I recall from my Sunday School days, J.C. wasn’t a big fan of the moneyed class. For instance, there’s Luke 12:33 about selling your possessions and giving your money to the poor. There’s Matthew 6:24, about serving God and not Mammon. And, my personal favorite, Matthew 19:24:
(Btw, contrary to popular mythology, there never was a gate in Jerusalem called “The Eye of the Needle“. However, if there’s any money in it, there might be one now.)
I guess, as they say, “That’s ancient history.”
In a bit more recent history (the 19th century, to be exact) Americans were feeling their oats and some of them felt they needed a Christianity to match their dreams (real & day). They wanted a religion that appealed to their enterprising spirit and their enthusiastic patriotism. A few good words about the righteousness of being rich (aka “The Gospel of Wealth“), wouldn’t hurt either.
In other words, Prosperity Theology is the worship of Mammon, camouflaged in Christian trappings.
But, that’s ok! After all, Americans were God’s new chosen people. Just ask them, they’ll tell you.
Which brings us to our poor preacher, stuck with a mid-range jet. I mean how can he preach to the unwashed masses of London, Paris, Rome or Monte Carlo without the agony of refueling?
I’ll let the preacher, Jesse Duplantis, explain his dire need,
You know I’ve owned three different jets in my life and used them and used them and just burning them up for the Lord.
Now some people believe that preachers shouldn’t have jets. I really believe that preachers ought to go on every available voice, every available outlet, to get this gospel preached to the world.
This is the Starship Enterprise. This is where I’m going, praise God—what I’m believing God for. We’re believing God for a brand new Falcon 7X so we can go anywhere in the world in one stop.
Jesse pointed to a pic of his current jet and continued,
Now people say, ‘my Lord, can’t you go with this one? Yes, but I can’t go at one stop.
If he were flying to Asia, he’d still have to land and refuel in Hawaii. (Oh, the misery of a Hawaiian stopover.)
According to Jesse, Big Daddy personally said to him,
Jesse, you want to come on up where I’m at? Before you ask, I’ll answer—Isaiah 65:24. [And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.] I want you to believe me for a Falcon 7X
(Evidently, Jesse is used to these personal chats with the big guy. According to him, back in Aug 1988 he hopped a Chariot to Heaven and had one-on-ones with J.C., King David, Paul, Abraham and a bunch of other 1st stringers.)
Then the conversation turned to paying for it.
Jesse, I didn’t ask you to pay for it. I asked you to believe for it.
Jesse pleaded with his audience to finance the jet for him and his wife.
We never ask you to give anything that me and [wife] Cathy don’t give ourselves.
(Except in this case, where “God” gave him a bye.)
I really believe that if Jesus was physically on the earth today he wouldn’t be riding a donkey. Think about that for a minute. He’d be in an airplane preaching the gospel all over the world.
Btw, here’s the plane he’s talking about. It a Dassault Falcon 7X. The Ferrari Of Private Jets
Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you.
Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are motheaten.
Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire. Ye have heaped treasure together for the last days. – James 5:1-3
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
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