‘Fundies’ and ‘gundies’ opine a lot about enhancing school safety by putting God and guns in our schools.
For those scratching their heads, fundies refers to Christian fundamentalists and gundies refers to gundamentalists….at least they do in my world.
In a recent debate with candidate Representative Beto O’Rourke, Senator Ted Cruz opined on the fundie side of school safety:
“It is horrific, and let me say, as the father of two daughters, there is something deeply wrong that we have these shootings. There are a lot of things behind it that have nothing to do with government. They have things to do with… things like removing God from the public square.”
On the gundie side of that spectrum, Dallas News said this:
“Sen. Ted Cruz, who supports arming teachers, proposed a measure last week that would have given states more flexibility to use federal grant money for education on school security — possibly including the purchase of guns for educators.”
And, remember this from 2015?
Makin’ bacon with an assault style weapon bout says it all now don’t it?
Based on these criteria, might it be safe to assume Senator Cruz is both a fundie and a gundie?
And then there’s notable fundie and gundie Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association.
The day of the massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, Fischer had this to say on Twitter:
“Why don’t we pray in schools BEFORE these shootings happen?”
Sorta like praying to stop hurricanes from making landfall before they develop, eh?
But I digress…
Then I watched this video of an interview with Mr. Fischer:
At about the 4:05 mark, Fischer gets into his gundie role by stating how “arming teachers and administrators” will help make our schools safer.
Reverting to his fundie role, he encourages parents to “prayerwalk” on campus.
According to Fischer, praying to God will somehow lead Him to “encircle” the campus with “battalions of warring angels”.
I’m confused….if there are battalions of warring angels on campus, why is there a need for arming teachers and administrators?
Once again, I digress….
So, in the interest of being fair to fundie and gundie proponents of all stripes, I propose an experiment to help test the God and guns premise on school safety:
- School districts across the U.S. should select one school in their district.
- Personnel in selected schools should be required to carry loaded guns as part of their job responsibilities (open or concealed….whatever they’re most comfortable with).
- Selected schools should eliminate ‘gun free zones’, meaning concealed and open carry by anyone should be allowed on campus.
- Personnel in selected schools should be required to acquire adequate training on the use of guns and use of lethal force.
- The definition of ‘adequate’ training should be determined by each school district.
- Personnel in selected schools should be required to undergo psychological evaluations.
- Enrollment of children in selected schools should be voluntary.
- Parents should be the sole decision maker(s) regarding their children’s attendance at said schools.
- God should be brought into selected schools.
- The Ten Commandments should replace all ‘gun free zone’ signs.
- Children should be required to participate in daily prayer sessions led by teachers.
- Classes in religious teachings should be required as part of the school curriculum.
- The school district should determine which ‘religion’ is taught.
- Parents of children attending selected schools should be required to participate in scheduled prayerwalks on a rotating basis (this should keep those battalions of warring angels around for when they’re needed).
Anything else anyone can think of?
An experiment like this is about as likely to happen as me winning the mega-millions lottery. You know it. I know it.
But if an experiment like the one I suggest were actually conducted and selected schools were to actually fill up, fundies and gundies might have a leg to stand on.
Folks are just going to have to color me more than a little skeptical that they would….fill up or have a leg to stand on, that is.
There’s more to school safety than God and guns. That’s simply a statement of fact.
My two cents.
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