Looks like ex-con and current con man, Jim Bakker, is slithering back into the news cycle.
On Thursday’s “Jim Bakker Show,” he started his rant by condemning those people who are trying to “destroy our president.” He said they were going “against what God does” and giving Satan the credit for the election.
He then stated that God spoke to him again. (I guess Pat Robertson was busy.) According to Jimbo, Big Daddy gave him a foreshowing of the “end days,” based on the events of the last week or so.
Evidently, in the same “24-48 hours” that Trump (aka Duh Fuhrer, aka Herr Rump) flew to Saudi Arabia to join “The Circle of the Mystic Orb,” Ringling Brothers shut down their circus after 146 years.
Jimbo then went on to link the two events and connect them to elephants, abortions, The Manchester bombing, a rocky outcrop on Mount Everest, Duh Fuhrer’s election (aka God’s miracle) and the end days. (Well, he had to get that last part in. He makes many Benjamins selling survival food to people who aren’t holy enough to be raptured.)
Le’ me ‘splain! (Well, partially, anyway. Some of this bovine bowel movement is beyond explanation.)
It seems around the same day as the journey to the orb fest, the Manchester bombing happened. Not exactly sure what that has to do with the price of sawdust in Siberia, other than to give Jimbo a chance to rant about T-E-R-R-O-R-I-S-T-S! (You know. People with permanent tans that come from the region of the “Orb.”)
Also, it was revealed about that time, that a rocky outcropping on Mount Everest had collasped. The outcropping was named after the first European to climb the mountain, Sir Edmund Hillary. I don’t know if Jimbo understands that, however, he tried to use it as a metaphor.
Meanwhile, back at the circus:
According to Jimbo, Ringling had to shut down because of a law banning circuses from using elephants. There ain’t no such law! There are some local laws banning the use of bullhooks on elephants, but that’s about it. Jimbo claimed that the (non-existant) law was there because people cared more about elephant treatment than the “55 million babies killed” by abortions.
He then said that the elephant was the biggest attraction (size-wise?) in the circus and said no more circuses mean no more elephants. He said that the elephant was the symbol of the Republican Party and started to draw an analogy, but thought better of it.
After a couple of jokes and an ackward subject shift, he got down to the nutty-gritty of Big Daddy’s monologue.
Revelation is now, people. Here’s what God spoke to me: The circus is over. Life as we know it, unless we turn back to God, it’s not going to be fun anymore.
(Excuse me, but to a lot of people, it hasn’t exactly been a barrel of monkeys to this point!)
Who needs circuses, with clowns like Jimbo to keep us in stitches?
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