Back in the Bronze Age, disasters and other infrequent acts of nature were “SIGNS FROM GOD!” (Or Gods, depending on which mythology you subscribed to.) Of course, so were sheep’s entrails, goose livers and a host of other esoteric items. But that was 3,000 years ago. This is the 21ST CENTURY! We’re all past believing in that mythological nonsense. Right??
Well. Evidently. Not all of us. Take Jim Bakker. (Insert your own snark here.)
Now, a lot of you remember Jimbo from his fraudy, rapey days at PTL. (PTL was supposed to stand for “Praise The Lord,” but “Pass The Loot” was a better fit.)
But, that was the old Jimbo. During an all too brief vacation at the Iron Bar Inn, he found “God.” (Or, at least a safer scam.) Nowadays, he’s an “End-Times” herald and a survival food salesman. (Falls under: Create a need and fill it.)
Food sales must be down a bit, because Jimbo went on his show today [9/12/17] to pitch gloom and doom like he was the devil himself. (Or, at least a close cousin.)
God’s judgment is coming.
Why am I crying out, ‘Prepare, prepare, prepare’? Because somebody put me in prison.
Yeah, that would have been the Feds, after he was convicted on multiple charges.
The devil meant it for evil but … God meant it for good. So I studied every word [in the Bible], so I know what’s coming. This flood didn’t shock me, I saw this flood. New Orleans is going to be covered with water; I don’t know if it’s this week but it’s going to happen. God says it will never come back at one point, unless it repents.
Maybe I missed that part of the “good book,” but I’ll be darned if I remember a passage mentioning New Orleans.
Do you know when these other huge hurricanes hit? Do you know what days they hit? It hit on the decadent days, the days of the decadence parades and all … The hurricane hit in Florida and they were having that parade and it hit on that day and then when it was to hit in New Orleans, it started there.
I don’t have a clue which “decadence parades” he’s referring to. There are so many to choose from. But, it wasn’t Mardi Gras, and you’d think it would be.
God’s judgment is coming. It’s coming whether we want it or not and it’s not because he hates us, he just wants to wake up America. We have mocked God.
So, am I to assume that Big Daddy is going to give the rest of the world a pass and just take out his anger on us? And, if that is the case, why are only “Red States” being hit? (You’d think he’d give Massachusetts a shot across the bay.)
Now, in fairness to Jimbo, he’s not the only “Khristian” (As opposed to “Christian,” which they ain’t!) troglodyte trotting this trail. The “Religious Wrong” blogosphere is replete with them. After all, “Fear is the best fundraiser!”
Featured Image Credit: Screen Grab
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
- This Week in God (As worshiped by Bronze Age troglodytes!) - October 6, 2019
- Non-Khristians Not Welcome In New State To Be Called ‘Liberty!’ - September 14, 2019
- Sarah ‘Caribou Barbie’ Palin Dumped By Hubby? - September 10, 2019
- The Second Amendment Ain’t What It Used To Be! (Part 1) - September 5, 2019
- Troglodyte: Khristians Need Militias For The Coming Civil War - September 4, 2019
- Sex, Drugs and Bank Fraud = Right Wing ‘Family Values? - August 31, 2019
- Troglodyte: Use the Military to Arrest the Heads of Google, Facebook and Twitter - August 28, 2019
- ‘Prophet’: Patriots Will Murder High-Profile Democrats in the Streets if Trump Doesn’t Carry Out Mass Arrests by January - August 20, 2019
- Better Red Or Dead? Civil War Fever Strikes Right - August 17, 2019
- ‘Flat Earth’ Rocket Launch Aborted Due to Bad Used Water Heater - August 15, 2019