Jim Bakker had another chat with “god,” or what/whoever that voice inside his head is. (Long distance calls from Planet Nibiru?)
As with most recent tete-a-tetes, this was about Trump.
holey…oops, holy conversation came up during yesterday’s [6/25/18] Jim Bakker Show, while discussing Revelation, chapter 6. That’s the passage about the infamous “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.”
(Either that or a description of a bad trip from partaking of too many Magic Mushrooms.)
Jimbo claims that Big Daddy told him that he’d already unleashed the first horse.
And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer. – Revelation 6:2 [KJV]
According to some biblical scholars, that would be the Anti-Christ. (Hmm, maybe B.D. was talking about Trump.)
Supposedly, Putin…I mean “God” got Trump elected so that Khristians would be ready for the Last Days. (So, Trump’s “reign” is an Apocalyptic rehearsal? That, at least makes some sense.)
Jimbo complained that, despite the Big Guy’s endorsement, Trump is not winning any popularity contests.
Have you ever seen a time when we hate our president like the people do now? Literally half the nation hates the president and would probably kill him if they got a chance.
This is what He [God] told me. He said, ‘Donald Trump is a respite in this troubled times and I sent him in grace to give you time to prepare for what’s coming on earth.’
(Trump is a respite? News to me and everyone else who’s paying attention.)
God has given us a man who is not afraid to fight. We have a president people think is crazy. They call him crazy, but he’s making peace treaties, he’s doing all the things to try to solve the world’s problems and God has put him on earth—God spoke to me the other night, He said, ‘I put Donald Trump on earth to give you time, the church, to get ready.’
As part of prepping for the End of Days, it’s important to have a good supply of food to outlast any famine that might be part of the horror!
But fear not, Jimbo has an online store that will alleviate that problem. He has over-priced pasta, beans and other scrumptious food, like Buttermilk Pancakes, Black Bean Burgers and Cheesy Broccoli Rice, to get you through it.
Just $750 for four big buckets. (1608 servings, and it has a 30-year shelf life, in case the Apocalypse gets delayed.)
While you’re shopping at the store, take advantage of Jimbo’s many other offerings.
For instance, have you been a bit too social with that person you “met” at the church picnic and a certain area of your anatomy is paying the price? Have no fear, Jimbo just added a “miracle in a tube” that cures all sorts of “social diseases.”
For just $100, you will receive two (2) 16 oz. Silver Solution Liquid, four (4) 4 oz. Silver Solution Gel, one (1) set of applicator bottles, and one (1) Silver: Nature’s Natural Healer book.
Jimbo doesn’t list any ingredients, but, you notice that silver shows up on the labels. I wonder if “silver” is short for “quicksilver.” Quicksilver is another word for mercury, which used to be sold for the same purpose. (Of course, mercury will kill you and mercury poisoning is not a pleasant way to go.)
There is one thing to remember about all this. That’s the possibility that Jimbo could be lying.
They don’t convict you of fraud and send you on a multi-year vacation at the Stony Lonesome for telling the truth.
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
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