The Inherent Dreariness of Donald J. Trump
The 1989 “Trump: The Game” board-game came with the utterly under-whelming closing line of a TV ad, uttered by Trump himself, of “I think you’ll like it.”
“I think you’ll like it.”
Is that it?
How very, very, average.
Yet Donald Trump clearly prides himself on being something out of the ordinary. Not just the avant-garde hair, which is, to be fair, an extraordinary construction that, most of the time, defies gravity and belief.
Nor that slightly disconcerting thing Trump does when he embraces himself and rocks back and forth when beyond agitated. (Fred – you have a lot to answer for because clearly you didn’t indulge the boy enough before he went off to earn those bone spurs. Maybe you were too busy picking that evening’s white robes and matching hood?)
No, Trump believes that his out of the ordinary is the glitz of the Manhattan millionaire (billionaire? squillionaire?) life-style he flaunts, with accompanying private jets, cozying up to overseas autocrats, tabloid tedium and D list TV show pedigree brought live and slightly nauseatingly to you from the White House via Twitter.
I beg to differ. Trump is actually very ordinary. Sure, he’s a lot of noise, controversy and dominates pretty much every news-cycle. But he is the absolute embodiment of mundane every-dayism. He’s the TV dinner President come to life. The not that much effort, casual racist, casual sexist, walking, talking, meat ‘n’ two veg every time, bore at the end of the bar, big yawn.
While his Presidency, at least I think it’s a Presidency, is clearly morally skewed, pulsates with ignorance and impulsivity, and is generally repellent, Trump as a person is depressingly predictable.
The narrative that he has some kind of genius unpredictability that consists of him playing four-dimensional chess on both the global and domestic stage, is pure fiction. His game-play strategies are on a par with a bucket of tipsy eels tipped on a Twister mat. For a split nano-second, it looks like there might be a whole lot going on, but on closer scrutiny, it’s just another manifestation of the Trumpian chaos theory. Less the theory.
Or to put it another way, using a phrase commonplace on my rain-swept north-west European island – he couldn’t find his arse with both hands at the best of times. And we all know it.
There’s the spontaneity of indecision that he exhibits daily as he time and again shows that he is clearly out of his depth in the Oval Office. But that’s predictable too. As is laughingly pointed out on social media all too often, there really is a counter-tweet in the past to everything he tweets today.
Here’s the Stable Genius in 2013 on Syria:
The President must get Congressional approval before attacking Syria-big mistake if he does not!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 30, 2013
And here he is again in 2018:
Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and “smart!” You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 11, 2018
You name it, he’s tweeted and then subsequently counter-tweeted against it years later. The FBI, Russia, ISIS and so on.
Trump, despite the wham-bam thank you ma’am incessant news feeds of seeming outrage, is the (im)perfect culmination of all that is, well, oh so predictable.
The whole binary “us and them”, “win or lose” and “you’re either for me or against me” formula that he has peddled all his pampered life – it’s all so very to be expected.
“Make America Great Again” is so obviously Trump that it’s painful to think it could have been anything else. Not make America “Happy Again”, “At Peace Again” or “Laugh Again.” No, it was always going to be “Great.” That’s because our wannabe Dear Leader simply can’t visualize anything more complex with which to appeal to people. He truly is the moral and political amoeba of our times. And amoebas are dull. Very dull.
The banality of evil. The best-I-can-come-up with thumbs up in front of a display of predominantly white White House interns or with a, surprise-surprise, white line-up of GOPers.
Them and us. Win or lose. It’s all going to be so great. I was having conversations like that with my Action Man back in England in 1980. I was ten. Not orange. And I certainly didn’t have the nuclear codes within reach of my predictably extended thumbs.
Roll on Mueller’s investigation. It’s inevitably going to snare up more and more within the inner Trump orbit. And if it got Trump himself and we were freed of this tedious pantomime once and for all?
Well, I think you’ll like it.
- Trump: The Anti-Santa - August 1, 2018
- Trump’s Kruel Komedy Klub - June 22, 2018
- From Russia With Animosity - June 10, 2018
- Phone Gymnastics: How Trump Keeps the GOP So Flexible (VIDEO) - May 24, 2018
- Our China Syndrome President - May 13, 2018
- Twenty Questions, Donald Trump Style - April 29, 2018
- Dreary Donald - April 19, 2018
- The Ghost of Mad King George and the “Militia” Amendment - April 7, 2018
- American-Chinese Tariff War: Fortune Cookies Not Required - April 5, 2018