And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s. And they marvelled at him. – Mark 12:17 KJV
“Coach” Dave Daubenmire (I’d call him “Dooby,” but I have a fondness for “doobies.”) has decided that J.C. was wrong!
Like most “Khristians,” (As opposed to “Christians,” which they ain’t!) the “Coach” likes to cherry-pick passages that celebrate his fantasies. Bible passages that don’t, much like facts that don’t, are gleefully ignored.
For instance, according to Dave, the moon landing was fake!
For those of you lucky enough to have never heard of this troglodyte, your streak is about to end.
I’ll make the intro brief, because I’m out of Emetrol. However, if you’ve got some handy, you can check out his bio in the “Encylopedia of American Loons.”
“Coach” used to be a high school coach before he got kicked out for coercing his players to pray. Nowadays, he’s “coaching God’s team” with his very own ministry: “Pass the Salt” (and some Benjamins, while you’re at it).
He’s a bit anti-LGBT, to the extent that he claims “we’re at war” with the demonic LGBTQ agenda!
Don’t you know it’s a war? Don’t you know they want your children? Don’t you know they’re occupying your pulpits? Don’t you understand that those same people singing ‘Jesus loves you this I know’ want to kill us?
He thinks “Main-Line” Christians are a bunch of pussies and America needs “a more violent Christianity!” Which brings us to another thing J.C. supposedly said, and Coach ignores:
But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right. cheek, turn to him the other also. – Matthew 5:39 KJV
He’s rabidly anti-Semitic! He thinks ‘Murica was supposed to be a Christian country, and thinks the “Good Book” (At least, the “OT” part) outranks the Constitution. He knows “PizzaGate” is the real deal! And, (This is my fave!) he believes that we are about to be invaded by alien “Cloudeaters” from another dimension!”
They are setting us up for the appearance of these, I believe, extra-dimensional beings that are going to come as our rescuers, the ones who are going to rescue the world and the very elect themselves, if it was possible, will be deceived…The MK Ultras, the satanically ritually abused children. All that kind of stuff, it is right before our face
Ok! Now you know what brand of filbert we’re dealing with, back to today’s subject – Caesar’s renderings!
Caesar (aka: the U. S. of A.), much like every other government since “The Big Bang,” requires that its citizens render unto it, a share of their shekels.
There are some exceptions to that. For instance, if a citizen claims to be a minister, with a ministry like “Pass the Salt,” they are are generally exempt from income tax and receive other favorable treatment under the tax law. That’s a great thing for Coach. Otherwise, he’d be living in sin! (Or in a federal “Rock Hockey Resort!”)
I’ll let him explain his case: (Since I’m not buying a damn bit of it!)
Better ask the Lord, ‘Do you want us to give our money to kill babies? Is that what you want us to do, Lord? Advance homosexuality and perversion in our schools? Lord, do you want me to take some of that hard-earned money that you blessed me with and you want me to give it to continue that process?
I’ll say this without question! The paying of government taxes, I believe, is sin. I’m sorry, I believe it’s sin. And so my struggle is with that premeditated sin every day because I know, for me to give one penny to Planned Parenthood is a sin. If I know what they’re doing with it, it’s a sin. For me to have to pay my property taxes—get your local property tax bill and look at how much of your local property tax goes to fund your schools and ask yourself, ‘Why am I funding that filth?’
Like most of his fellow filberts, he sees no sense in supporting edjamicashun! I think getting fired from his high school job, kinda soured him. (And, just for the record, “Advanced Homosexuality and Perversion” was my favorite class in 3rd grade!)
Planned Parenthood? Coach is using “dog wistle politics!” To troglodytes, “Planned Parenthood” is code for ABORTION!
Thing is, by law, tax dollars in support of PP can NOT be used to fund abortions. (Coach is either too dumb to know that, or he thinks his “flock” is!)
Coach wrapped up his ridiculousness by claiming that every “Christian” would have to explain to Big Daddy, why they supported our wicked government with their taxes.
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
- Islamic & Christian Fundies: Two Coins of the Same Side - November 26, 2019
- Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Impeachment - November 14, 2019
- Louie Gohmert Goes All ‘Civil War’ Over Impeachment - November 1, 2019
- Walk On Holy Water In Your Jesus Shoes For Just 14,000 Shekels! - October 15, 2019
- This Week in God (As worshiped by Bronze Age troglodytes!) - October 6, 2019
- Non-Khristians Not Welcome In New State To Be Called ‘Liberty!’ - September 14, 2019
- Sarah ‘Caribou Barbie’ Palin Dumped By Hubby? - September 10, 2019
- The Second Amendment Ain’t What It Used To Be! (Part 1) - September 5, 2019
- Troglodyte: Khristians Need Militias For The Coming Civil War - September 4, 2019
- Sex, Drugs and Bank Fraud = Right Wing ‘Family Values? - August 31, 2019