Alex Jones claims he’s a secret agent. Of course, if he really was (secret, that is) he isn’t any more.
When I ran across that, I couldn’t help wondering which side he’s on: Secret Squirrel’s or Boris and Natasha’s?
He claims he’s part of the army’s “stay behind” network that (according to him) was organized back in the ’50’s to fight the Commies. Well, Commies aren’t much of a threat nowadays, so the secret network has evolved to fight the Chinese takeover of the world.
I remember a few decades back when Gong Show host, Chuck Barris claimed he was a CIA assassin. No word on whether Alex does anything more lethal than shooting off his mouth.
Speaking of his oral bowel movements, here’s what he had to say about his secret life.
Yes, I’ll just tell you. We are a stay-behind network for America. It’s the big secret. That’s what we are. That’s why they’re after us. It’s true. The stay-behind network support[s] me. I am from a stay-behind network. Most of my family was in stay-behind networks. That’s why they hate me. I’m an American. I’m a stay-behind network for America. I’m fighting the Chinese globalist takeover.
Oh, and Alex claims that InfoWars and it’s “Bubba Tudum” audience is part of the secret group, as well. (So secret, that the Tudum crowd didn’t even realize they were part of it.)
When I say I’m a stay-behind network, you are. We believe in free market, we believe in the family, we believe in the Second Amendment. You are an agent of America, of George Washington, of liberty.
Well, we all know how truthful Alex is, but methinks that his social media expulsions and his sinking ratings, might be causing him to exaggerate just a teeny bit.
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).
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